“The mental construction of our daily activities, more than the activity itself, defines our reality.”
What if the formula for success is backwards. We're told that if we work hard, we'll be successful. And of course, if we're successful then we'll be happy. It's all about the next thing. The next step will make us happy. But it doesn't really work this way. If we're always focused on what's next, we're never in the present. The present, of course, is where we live.
In his eye-opening book, The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Achor, who spent over a decade living, researching, and lecturing at Harvard University, shows that the formula is backward: Happiness isn't the result of success but rather it fuels it. “When we are positive, our brains become more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient, and productive at work.”
Here are some of Achor's tips for becoming happier.
The first tip, echoing Dan Harris, is to meditate.
Take just five minutes each day to watch your breath go in and out. While you do so, try to remain patient. If you find your mind drifting, just slowly bring it back to focus. Meditation takes practice, but it’s one of the most powerful happiness interventions. Studies show that in the minutes right after meditating, we experience feelings of calm and contentment, as well as heightened awareness and empathy. And, research even shows that regular meditation can permanently rewire the brain to raise levels of happiness, lower stress, even improve immune function.
Do something nice for someone.
A long line of empirical research, including one study of over 2,000 people, has shown that acts of altruism—giving to friends and strangers alike—decrease stress and strongly contribute to enhanced mental health.
You really need to invest in your social relationships.
“Countless studies have found that social relationships are the best guarantee of heightened well-being and lowered stress, both an antidote for depression and a prescription for high performance.”
And you need to get outside. Not only is solitude an important part of the creative process, it improves memory and thinking.
Making time to go outside on a nice day also delivers a huge advantage; one study found that spending 20 minutes outside in good weather not only boosted positive mood, but broadened thinking and improved working memory … studies have shown that the less negative TV we watch, specifically violent media, the happier we are.
Cutting the cord also helps you read more.
It's about people and relationships.
Turns out, there was one—and only one—characteristic that distinguished the happiest 10 percent from everybody else: the strength of their social relationships. My empirical study of well-being among 1,600 Harvard undergraduates found a similar result—social support was a far greater predictor of happiness than any other factor, more than GPA, family income, SAT scores, age, gender, or race. In fact, the correlation between social support and happiness was 0.7. This may not sound like a big number, but for researchers it’s huge—most psychology findings are considered significant when they hit 0.3. The point is, the more social support you have, the happier you are.
If you're going to spend money, make sure it's on experiences and not stuff. Unless it's a Vitamix, because that's just awesome.
[W]hen researchers interviewed more than 150 people about their recent purchases, they found that money spent on activities—such as concerts and group dinners out—brought far more pleasure than material purchases like shoes, televisions, or expensive watches.
Spend it on your friends and family or random strangers. “Spending money on other people, called ‘prosocial spending,' also boosts happiness.”